Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
