Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
