i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
