I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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