I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
