ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Two words: blizzard sex
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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