porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
