If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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