i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
