rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
