Michael Bay diarrhea
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
