Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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