Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
