this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
