i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
