I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
