dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
