awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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