The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
