So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
