Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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