I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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