census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
