How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we're making bets on your personal life
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
