Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
