I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just google imaged poop.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
