Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
