Need sex. Gaining weight.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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