So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
