Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
