LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
