I think I died a long time ago.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
