We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
