kristin has been a bad kristin
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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