I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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