why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
