don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
