yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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