I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Couch. On fire.
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