i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
