This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
