you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
