dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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