Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
