Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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