this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
