Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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