do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
