I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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