We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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