Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
