I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
