So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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